Love In Question
by Little-Inkstone
Summary: Gold asks Belle if Lacey could have ever loved him.


**AN:** A short one-shot for the Rumbelle challenge on Tumblr. This week's color challenge was 'Red'. This is either set sometime after Rum gets home or, depending on how season 3 goes, is completely AU after the finale.

It was a quiet evening, a rare thing for Rumpelstiltskin, as he stared uncomprehendingly at the page of the book he was currently making his way through. His true love, Belle, sat not too far away snuggled up with her own book.

He had been so long without her, and there had been so many near misses lately, that it felt nice to simply sit and enjoy one another's company. But he was plagued by wayward and unpleasant thoughts. Things that he should waste no more time wondering about, but wonder he did.

Before he could think better of it he was breaking the peaceful silence that surrounded them like a shroud. Previously the only noise had been the fire crackling merrily; casting the room in gold's, oranges, and reds. It gave the room a homey feel, despite the weather being slightly to warm for it.

"Belle?" He called softly.

It surprised him when no more prompting was needed to call his beauty out of her book. Often times it was like the whole world disappeared and was swallowed up by the one found between the pages of whatever novel she was reading. His Belle could ignore even the most basic of needs like sleep or meals if she was properly entranced.

"Yes, Rumple?" She asked with a warm smile. He suspected he wasn't the only one who had been doing more thinking than reading.

He cleared his throat uncertainly, unsure of how to broach the topic that had been hounding him. Usually words came effortlessly to him, as easily wielded and spun like his straw turned to gold. But with Belle it had always been different, whenever he found himself faced with her blue, blue eyes his tongue would freeze and refuse to cooperate. All known language erased from his mind.

"I was, ah, I was wondering if I could ask you something." He began.

"Of course." She replied reassuringly.

"About Lacey." He continued.

"Oh." Belle said. He had feared she would be upset, that he would watch her smile dim and die, but instead her expression remained open, and now slightly curious. "What about?"

"Do you think she ever would have loved me? Enough to break the curse?" He blurted out before he could think of a more tactful way to phrase his question. He was sure Belle wouldn't appreciate him asking her if another woman would have loved him, even if said other woman was her own cursed persona.

Again Belle surprised him. Instead of being angry or insulted, she laughed. "Has that been what's bothering you? Oh Rumple." She said shaking her head fondly. "Where do I begin?"

Setting her book down, she moved from the chair that had unofficially been hers, even before he had found out she was still alive, and settled beside him on the couch.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." He mumbled, casting his eyes down in shame. Belle had suffered far more than he could ever imagine, losing herself the way she had. He had no right to ask her about the thoughts and feelings of her other self.

"No, no, Rum. It's nothing like that." She soothed, snuggling closer to him. He wrapped his arm around her, allowing them both to become more comfortable and sit closer together. "I'm just not sure how to answer, that's all."

"Did Lacey really feel that little for me?" He asked before he could help himself.

"The opposite, actually." She chuckled.

"What?"

"I should probably start with the phone call, from before I was Lacey." She sent him a sly smile. He blushed, something he hadn't done in centuries until he met Belle, and looked away. "Hey." She said, cupping his chin and forcing him to look at her. "Don't be embarrassed, it was beautiful." She whispered.

"I let you think I was dead for _days_ after that." He muttered in disgust, scowling at his own selfish stupidity.

"None of that, I know you were helping Snow and Charming, and I _know _that almost dying can be exhausting." Belle countered before his thoughts could spiral away from him.

He grunted and nodded his head jerkily before she continued.

"Now," She began. "I was telling you a story. I was very lonely in the hospital, no one really came to see me, except Ruby a couple of times, and Regina once." She scrunched up her nose in distaste.

He pressed a quick kiss to her nose, dissolving the tension that had built up. "I'm sorry, love. I should have stayed, taken care of you myself."

"That would have been pointless." She said shaking her head. "You had to go find Baelfire. And besides, until the phone call I didn't trust you." She looked at him apologetically and he kissed her brow as a sign of understanding, he wouldn't have trusted himself either.

"The phone call was when everything changed. Hearing you talk about me, telling me things that I so desperately longed for, and saying that, _that's_ who I was, it made me feel like a person again instead of some invalid whom everyone pitied. You made me feel strong."

"You _are_ strong." He interjected. "The strongest, bravest, most loving person I've ever met."

"See," She said smiling. "Hearing that, and knowing the person saying it _believed_ it, I fell in love with you all over again. Knowing, _thinking_, you had died nearly killed me." She whispered her eyes becoming bright with unshed tears.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He said, his own eyes becoming misty.

"It's okay." Belle replied with a water smile. "When you knocked on my door I thought my heart was going to burst from relief and happiness." Suddenly her gaze turned shy, and she looked away before looking back again. "You could have kissed me then, I would have let you." She mumbled a soft blush tinting her cheeks.

"I wanted to, when you said that we could help each other, but I was afraid." He murmured. "I didn't want to scare you again."

She nodded before continuing. "When Regina gave me Lacey's memories and personality I still remembered everything that had happened after the town line. Including, _especially_, how you made me feel. And that made Lacey uncomfortable. She didn't like the idea of being in love, never mind loving someone she had no previous memories of, someone who didn't even know her real name."

"What she thought was her real name." He said with a wry smile. She returned his smile before looking away her features falling.

"She, _I_, did everything I could to forget you. But I couldn't seem to get you out of my mind. I realized I couldn't just ignore my feelings when I caught myself doodling little red hearts on a spare napkin. After that I started asking around the bar about you. _Everyone_ had a story to tell, and none of them were flattering. But to me you sounded exactly like the kind of guy I would fall for."

"But Lacey always acted so disinterested when I was around."

"What can I say? She was an amazing actress; I'm surprised I could string two words together with how nervous I was about you realizing how you affected me." Belle replied with a shrug and a small laugh. "I thought it was so obvious I was over compensating."

He laughed softly as well, and then it was his turn to look grim. "If Lacey liked me so much why did she leave to go make-out with Keith?"

"That," Belle said with a grimace. "Was a calculated cruelty."

"How do you mean?"

"As I said, everyone had a story. You weren't acting the way I wanted, and expected, you to. But I had heard you had a nasty temper, and I figured if I hurt you…" She trailed off.

"That I'd be the beast everyone said I was." He finished.

She nodded sadly. "I'm sorry Rumple, I know that's not who you are, not really. You were trying so hard for me, and I let you down."

"Not you, Belle, never you." He reassured, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I followed you, after. You had done exactly what I wanted behind Granny's but you weren't doing it for Lacey, you were doing it for Belle. And that made me see red, that's why I lashed out at you. But you still intrigued me, and I saw Keith chase after you, and I heard the sound of metal hitting flesh, and I−I got so excited." She shook her head, a stray tear falling as her voice trembled slightly.

Giving her a minute he held her close, gently rocking back and forth whispering nonsense to her. "It's alright now, Belle, I promise, it's alright."

Taking a shaky breath she continued. "After that I just enjoyed being with you, revelling in the fact that not only was I with the darkest, most dangerous man in town, I was also the one person he would never hurt. When you attacked Dr. Whale I didn't even pay attention to him, I was looking at you, watching you put on a show, all for me."

"I would have done anything to get you to love me." He supplied, regretful that he could feel no guilt in the admission, nor deny its certainty.

"That's the thing Rumple, I was already in love with you, both as myself, and as Lacey."

"Then why didn't any of our kisses bring you back?" He wondered out loud.

A moment of terrible fear gripped him, he knew it was possible to love someone, and not be their true love. Was it possible that the years had changed them so much that they were no longer destined for each other? Had the curse simply revealed what he had always feared? That someday Belle would find someone better? More worthy?

"Simple." She said drawing him out of his panicky thoughts. "Do you love me?" Belle asked.

"Of course I love you!" He declared immediately.

Her lips quirked in a smile, then she grew serious once more. "But did you love Lacey?" She probed gently.

Rumpelstiltskin opened his mouth, and then closed it again, taking a moment to think of the proper words to express himself. "Sometimes, I felt a strong sort of affection for her. I think; if given time, I would have come to love Lacey." He admitted.

"And I'm sure on that day; you would have pressed your lips to hers, and found me on the other side of that kiss." She pulled his head down to hers, but right before he could kiss her, she stopped him. "You fought for me."

"Someone once told me, when you find something worth fighting for, you never give up." He whispered back, smiling. "I'll always fight for you Belle, no matter what world we find ourselves in, or whatever curse we're under, I'll never stop."

Her smile was radiant, even the sun couldn't rival how bright it was. "Even at your darkest you've always been my guiding light in this world of darkness."

The reversal of declarations was not lost on either of them. But instead of pondering what it might mean that they had both echoed each other's words, they focused on being in love. After such a long, and unwilling, separation they chose to celebrate being together.


End file.
